haflah was pretty interesting. the guys are like, boyband. only that they are singin nasyid style. thrs the endless. 'wakil' thingy goin on. jeeez. initially the rayaing was pretty ... boring. hehe yah. coz firstly it was raining, and my energy level is just very low. so, not hyped up. oh ya, the guys joined us!! nt all, but enuf to rock the outing.
.... until at night. after drinking coke at fana's hse.
gawd.
i should really learn how to be civilised in public AT NIGHT.
I was so high I did not recognize
anyways, i had fun. coz we sorta able to 'tok' to each other more than in class. up to a point that mamat and shah asked me whats my full name.
*rolls eyes*
samer class for sooo long only now you ask. haha.
Hypnotized by the words you say
and take lots of pix!!! haaaaaaa. what i do best. haha.
my house was the last pit stop. so, heeee, i finally get the feeling of being the last house. and i kinda hope the rest wont be back home late. coz they all stay at the west area.
*sweats*
I tried to laugh but i cried instead
today, the nyp biznes students starts schooling. haish.
i miss school.
im tired of rotting at home. ok not realli, coz most of the time i will be out. heeeez.
but still! like, bosan ar.
Give me the sweetest goodbye
OMG! queer eye was so sweeeet and nice!! i mean last sat. like woah man. so touching. and jai cried... i remembered he mentioned he cried because of the diamond.
*cricket sounds*
hahaha oookaaaaay, i cried because of the speech and the ceremony. the diamond...? ok mayb i will la if my prince charming give it to me. haha.
Refuse to regret
hmmm, tmr si eusoff punyer open house. then some of our nursing mates will be thr too. haha. mesti gerek punyerr... actually malas wan to go, but since they all will be thr, why nt go rite? heeee. den thr'll be nas and mya will be comin along too!! weeeee! hahaha.
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold
for now, i tink i btr start studying for psycho paper... this comin wednesday will be the paper. heeeee. i wonder how it'll be. both the paper and who will be thr. *grinz*
Saturday, November 27, 2004
♥azi / 10:18 PM
honestly, i don't know what EXACTLY i want in life. well yah, people always say a car, good education, ultimately tie the knot and have many wonderful kids. same goes for me. the exact order and of course additional stuff in between.. for those who knows me will understand. and if u still don't, please make an appointment with me to give u a personal spank. anyway, yes. i am very indecisive. im torn between 2 pairs of earrings for an hour that almost killed my dear ain. heee. i took almost a yr to figure out if i should be a sponsored student. that's very long ya know. only recently ive made up my mind to be bonded. to me, that is already a very very crucial decision. it matters ALOT coz it changes my life. to the nurses to be, you'll get it.
Let me in to see you in the morning light
To get me on and all along the tears they come
See all come, I want you to believe in life
But I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
And when you find out who you are its too late to change
people ask me, what am i goin to do aft gettin diploma of nursing. i would always react the same way which is..
pause. and say,"hmm, not realli sure. maybe work and study at the same time."
the next qn will be,"dont u wan to go overseas or sumtin?" again, i'll go.. pause. "well ya, i would love to. but i dono if i have the money ya know." yes, another qn. "oh! im sure you will go overseas. it will be great. so do have ani like, interest in specialising in anything?" duh, i hav to ans. pause." hmm, i know i cant do paediatrics. not becoz i hate kids, i realli love them. its just, hard to see children already suffering for their life.mayb, i duno.. maybe. hmm i duno."
I wish I could be everylittle thing you wanted, all the time Oh, I wish I could be everylittle thing you wanted, all the time, sometimes
so you c, at this moment, i should at least know what i wan. like the skeleton. already in the topic of 'education' i cant ans those qns, how abt in other aspects of life? for example, money? work? or even .... relationship? yes, it has been the 'topic' of everyone actually. jeeeez. haha. let your hair down, relax, i know you all care for me, but just, (like wat poh boon said) let nature do it. ;)
Lift me up, just lift me up dont make a sound Let me hold you up before you hit the ground See all come, you say your alright But i get the strangest feeling that you've gone away, you've gone away And when you find out who you are too late to change
yup, i need alot of thinkin to do. i tink ive mentioned this alot of times.. about red cross. gosh. i dun tink im that active anymore. what is wrong wif me? wait, im not active in anything anymore. that explains on how free i am. i should really start doin something beneficial. maybe like, cooking? haha yes, if crapper can cook, so can i! :p felt so demoralised wen someone won me in xbox. hahaha. nvm nvm, i shall be strong.
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, all the time Oh, I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, every thing you wanted, all the time Don't give me up Don't give me up tonight Soon nothing will right at all, salvation Cause when you find out who you are too late to change Too late to change
tomoro is haflah. after that will be rayaing with the MAD ppl. pretty excited coz its the very first tim we'll be doin this aft knowing each other since kindergarten? rite fana? *winkswinks* alah, but it'll be more fun if the guys join us. heeee. aniwei, i shall start doin some thinkin, i duno maybe write it on my diary about it..? get all depress by watchin love actually? heee. hmm, yah. i shall do tat.
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, all the time Oh, I wish I could be every little thing you wanted every little you wanted all the time This time, everylittle thing you wanted all the time, oh But I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
Friday, November 26, 2004
♥azi / 11:25 PM
yes, i went out again this week. omg. like craziness man. ive never done this for soooo long. so aniwei, went sch today for psycho remedial. and i was suuuper late. like seriously, i went in the cls, and all eyes on me. siaak aaaaar. paiseh siol. so i jus, dgn slumbernyer walk in and sit w/o politely askin if the seat is taken. WHR HAS MY MANNERS WENT TO?!
so yah, half of the time im in the cls, i was like, singing this DISHWALLA SONG in my head (thx to someoneeeee.. :p) . gawd. hooow to focus. haha but yah, i still ended up gettin some stuff in my head. the cls ended like, half and hr later. so fast siol. was wondering what to do for 1hr n 15mins. coz im meetin nas and mya to head to town. so, went makan at mcd wif hafiz,mus and this girl (arr! forgot her name!!). and hafiz is sooo nice he blanja us. awwwww.. haha. thx boss!
den we chatted and all.. met ms gwen and ms caroline too. chat some more.. laughed like hell too. soooo, its time to go coz the guy hav to go friday prayers. i waited at the mrt for like very long time. haha and hafiz being very nice waited with me for a while .. but he have to go la in the end coz met the other malay guys. so yah.. and finally the gurus came!! haha yes.. nice to meet them. so we go lido to buy tix for bridget jones. den they did make up on me in the toilet. geee. haha. aft tat like go buy fruits,sushi and went mc cafe to haaaanngg out ya'll!!
nice nice time. and chatted some more. off we went to watch the movie. omg, very heart warming, sweeeeeet and touching. thx to waterproof mascara, my make up is nt ruined. hahaha. very nice la. and very farnie. so! aft tat went MNG to try some outfits.. so fun! soooo nice too!! den went far east too. tats wen the shoppin starts! we each bought ourselves something. heeee. nas- this bbeeeautiful top! fantabulous la
mya- shoes! omg. those hottt hotttt shoes!! me- bag! haha thx to my fashion guru :)
oh, mya's guy (jason) joined us too. haha. aft tat went makan at BK. omg. we took like a few mins to fig out whr to eat. end up doin 'oh-ar-pay-yar-som' gawd. met my parents n sis at thr too. haha. so cute la they. okie, den aft makan tot mt my folks to go home wif them. but i politely told them i nd to accompany nas home. so they let me went off myself! haaaa!
yes, we end up went to forever 21 to try on some outfits. waaah, i tink i should wear a hat someday. hahaha. ok nah, i shant. haha.very nice la.. omg. very very nice. den we met mya and jason agn. go home aft tat. we took some pix wif my fone. heee. and its very farnie la, coz we tried squeezin everyone. wic we finally did!! yay! heeee.
(L-R: jason, mya, nas and me. jeeez.)
and in the train, siala. we went crazy too. we laughed coz of this lady. she is asleep. and her mouth is like a funnel(like wat mya said)coz its super wide open. hahaha. and i went on saying itreminds me of the leaning tower of pisa coz she like slanted on side. the girl beside her look SO terrified. omg. i cant stop laughin la at tat time. so i ended up look down. jeeez. farnie siol.
heeee. i had a great time gals! (=
thx for the fanatbulous day!! muaxmuax!
ok no As la, as expected. hahaha. but im SO glad coz i paaassssssss my BIO!!!
omg.
ive mostly got Bs. wow. how great rite? haha!
4 Bs 2 C+ and one no grade coz nv sit for it. heeeee. *gasp* that means i passed my sociology module tooooo!
and i got btr grade for bio than my nursing science 1027. jeeeez. hahahahaha!!!!
omg. im so glad i passed. thank god man.
oh yah, and i hav to take supp paper for psychology la. coz i din come for it. hahahaha
yay!!!!!!!!
hmm some of u mite be wondering how come so many modules.. ok, heres the explanation. one of the modules is my attachment. one of it biological science. one of it nursing clinical laboratory 2 of it is behaviourial science.
2 of it nursing science. so.... yah. heeeee.
omg. im so happie. den now must chiong for psycho paper!! go me! it'll be on 1st dec. dat means... i duno if i can make it for EDC. hmmm. o well, i passssed! yay!
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
♥azi / 11:21 PM
SO! its ANOTHER rayaing day for me. i tell you, by the end of this week, i'll be dead tired sak. coz i tink i still have a few more rayaing to do.. like what min said "rayaing spree" haha. *faints*
(L-R) mya, nas and me!! at pasir ris mrt. heeee
and im so proud of myself coz i survived in my heels today!!! yay!! not only that, the make up gurus did some make up on me. lolx! lik one girl's outing haha. so aniweis, met them (nas & mya) at the 858 bus stop. gosh. i miss them alot. haha. so we chit-chat. blah blah. compliment and make each other kembang. haha. oh, this eusoff din join us coz he's tired from the rayaing the nite b4 (yah, like im not eh, eusoff :p).
first house was marina's. and its alllll the way at pasir ris. the last time i met her was ... *counts* 3 yrs? yah.. around thr. on the way thr, we like laughed like hell, tok nonsense, criticise ppl, and do wat girls do la.. haha.
upon reaching her hse, we watched tv la, eat, take pix and yes - the highlight - they did make up on me. gawd. so paiseh la, but kinda fun. haha. i tink we spent ard 2 hrs thr? haha. yah ard thr.. den makan the macaroni. omg. sedap siol... and we drank ALOT of kickapoo till we went high. haha. coz once we left her hse, we cant stop laughing and being lame. yes, crazy bunch of hot babes. ceeeehh. haha.
we took some more pix and went crazy. ok, aft that, we went to eusoff's. hahaha mya cant stop saying how hansem he is. like seriously.......! haha. okla, pleasant looking. but dun rub it in ya. haha. eusoff joined us from then on... aft that off to mar's hse. felt a lil er, out of place coz i dun realli know her.. but yah, jus act cool. heeee. radzi's was next..i was soo tempted to piss him off by criticising him. haha. but since its hari raya, i shall spare him the agony. OMG. you cant guess what conversation we had at his hse. macam, aper sak, of ALL things, we toked abt our [eusoff & me] hospital attachments. like, WTH lar?! haha. no no, i shant post it here. haha.
okie, sid's was next. and his lil cuzin is SO ADORABLE. SO CUTE. siala, lucky she's out of my reach, if nt, i'll hug and squeeeeze her. so cute seh!! but no, im a gooood person. i wont do that.heee. and at his house was when reality hits me [and very hard] - my results is gna be out tmr!!!!!! kanina. haha. scary sia.. ok shh! lets change subject.
SO ANIWEI, we went to mya's house next. and thats when i cannot tahan already. my throat is KILLING ME. its super sore to the core. it hurs like hell. so, i like, step cool ar. haha. drink bit by bit gitu. we watched Ed thr, and chatted some more. and her aunt is so cool coz she gave nas n me a nail polish. sheeeesh. im SO spoilt. haha. oh yah, then thrs this endless argument between me n eusoff regardin the money we owed each other. *rolls eyes* but wonderful mya solved it for us. haha.
aft much drama-mama, we finally went to nas's hse. but mya din follow. coz its like weird for her to come more than once. so yah, my heels got stuck like endless times between the drains. paiseh sak. haha. okie, wen reach nas's hse. i requested for plain water and stayed thr till 10.30 coz wanted to watch E.C. (this malay show lar). also to accompany nas coz she its like thrs this grp of her ex schmates came. heeee yah. eusoff and me are very nice ppl. onli im nicer :p yah, ate her fantabulous mee hoon goreng. *smacks lips*. aft those ppl went off, we watch more tv,took more pix and finally balik.
here i am, feeling nervous, excited, scared, nerve wrecked and nervous for my results. furthermore im feeling sick. so, i tink shall end here ppl. till den, cya!!!
♥azi / 10:49 AM
jalan raya sakan - that's what was it yesterday. betulnyer giler sak. haha. yes, i DID vow to improve my malay. so i sorta tried to speak more malay yesterday. and it all turned out ... wrong. haha and very paiseh lor.. orang melayu pun tak tau what is 'alarm' in malay. jeeez. and got ppl to edit for us. zzzz.
so anw, went to andi's hse first. and since its janji melayu, i reached thr at 11.30 instead of 10.30. lolx!! and its sorta like, stoning session for everyone at that time. all like watching central like its the best channel ever. den ate food and stuff. and finally came to a decision to go to my hse next. *beams*
upon reachin, as usual, watch more tv... and force them to eat. den took many pix. had a chat wif my beloved frens and of course - got booted by farhan and syafiq(agn) in xbox. ferkz man. lolx!
hudha's next and on the way thr, ain,nad, zaida and me sang lagu raya like no one's bisnes, and jaywalked like that's our road. seriously la, we mite DIE. so aniweis, we reach thr, and my gawd, spent like 2 hrs at hudha's? yah.. ard thr. and wat did we do? i know, i watched putri gunung ledang. the rest sorta slacked.. some watched wif me, others god knows what they did. eh sialah, that show is soooo touching. altoh i din get to finish watching, its so sad lor. sniff. i SO need to watch it again - with tissues this time. heee.
at hudha's plc is when we came to our census that WE NEED TO HAVE A PLAN. and not stay at each hse for 1+hr. haha yah, aft that went to hazwanie's.. yay! miss her like goats man. saleha's next.. laughed like cows thr. shant say it here. heeeee. den ayuni's.... den cikgu imran's hse. wah siao lor, the view from his hse is fantabulous. is sooo nice n cooling. syiok. and his daughter cute giler seh.... by then, i swear i put on 5 kg. ate non stop. oh, falah got to steal some shuts... (took a nap). and got a snap of him snoozing. he look so steamed sia.
anw, off we went to kamil's BUT no one's home.. so we drraaagggggged ourselves to zaid's. his hse so cozy.. hee i like. and over thr, makan lagi. siak arrrrr. haha. and the guys go and take the sweets sampaikan empty seh the botol. tu dah gelojoh oi.... ok, den we waited like siao for 911. and like i said - siao - we (ain,zaida,hudha and me) went crazy and laughed like hell tryin to be dumb blondes (malay version in baju kurung, goin rayaing). i know we went crazy lar.
took more pix in the bus.. went crazy agn.. and finally reached kamil's. the time was 11.40pm. and im so screwed. hahaa. but like, no nice rite nv go to the last 2 hses.. and it wasnt a mistake lor goin thr. his hse is sooo nicely furnished. i bet thom will be SO proud of his bro. like seriously looorrrr... so chio. yes, we ATE some more. gaaaawwwwd. bloated.
farhan's the last hse. and we rushed thr, not onli its friggin late, its drizzling!!! so went thr... went crazy by being a homo wif ain. hahaha. kamil and andi joined in but they too got grossed out aft a while. SO we FINALLY reached the last hse. and i realllllllllliieeeeeeeee want to stay longer, but i doubt my folks wudnt be happie to c her anak dara out till the weeee morning (altoh its nt quite yet *rolls eyes*). at the last hse, it has been a tradition for us to seek forgiveness. so we did... oh! did i mention farhan's sis is uber adorable?! omg she is looorrr! samer hair style ngan abg dier. haha.so anw, we head home aft that. aft hugs and kissess n salamings, we went our separate ways. but, a ew of us walked home. and i was sooo honoured coz they sent me home. haha. nt realli lar, they hav to pass my hse first to go to theirs. haha. so yah..
had a great great time with them. i truly did. altoh i wished some of the others were thr coz we wud definitely have more fun.and even toh i got teased with the many names they've made, it reminded me of those days n din bothered me at all... *ponders* anyhoo, i hope we wud kp in touch and hang out more. not only during raya lar, as in jus plain slackin and rotting session.
Monday, November 22, 2004
♥azi / 9:19 PM
yay! its been a rawking today ya'll!! went out wif nj and ig!! weeee!! and saw a hot guy in the train *drooools* lolx!
we took loads of pix BUT haish, our looovely jannah ter-delete them. and we did some last min snaps in front of *koff* our alma mater - EVG. jeez.
okie okie! so we went makan at BK. omg. i miss eating at BK ya'll!! ate like one glutton and as usual, i as the last to finish. *groan* so aniweis, aft tat we hit borders. waaaah, sampai jugak hajat aku. hahaha we went round drowning in our own worlds looking at books. gawd. and we each bought ourselves notebook!! weeeeee!! i know guys - we are SO cool!!! heeeee. aft that we went to taka. i wanted to get blusher.. den wasted time go thr and went bak to mrt. zzzzz. OMG! we got interrupted by some bitch. gawd. like, seriously ar! *eve style* whatever lar, so ANIWEI, we went to peninsula plaza. and god knows how many times we went up n down the escalator and crossin the road. lolx! like one sua koo ppl man.
nj got her shoes!! yay!!! so nice loorrrr.. ya loorrr.. yay! so glad we had what we want!! oh, but i got stuck wif that jersey i saw.. omg. its so nice, but dun have the netted type. so, i shall hunt for the netted kind ;)
aft that we head back to wlands coz want to join ain's surprise thingy. but in the end, the plans sorta got changed and surprised my dearrrr ain at civic!!! heeeee! so glad to meet her!!!! gawd. gave her the gifts and chatted for a while.. haish. hahaha. but before that went to get my blusher. wah, puas hati. haha. weeeee!! o yah!! we also went to popular coz nj wana get pencil case for ifah. we met our beloved and fave LIT tcher of allll time - Mr Liang. wah song boo man, long time nv meet him. heeeez. so yah, aft meeting ain n all, we walked back home. met Mr TCH and Mdm Kartini on the way too. heeeee. they are soo best frens.. altogether now - AWWWwwwww~~~~!!!
we sorta tried not to tok on the way home, but we jus cant. i mean, its so friggin PAINFUL coz we're nt tokin. like sufferign in silence....!!! hahaha. and we met (what nj said to be) azri and syafiq on the way home.. wave like some sua koo kids.. and walk on to EVG. so thats when we did last min snaps. lolx!! i bet the motorists were staring at us... haha who cares rite?
orite, so, wat u guys think of my new layout?
thx tomarinadarling, micheal vartan [or agent micheal vaughn]is in my blog.. haha. hottt rite?! omg. yes he is ... and tonight gna watch Alias.. *droooools*
tomoro will definitely be a rockin da for me too.. coz rayaing wif the e1 and e2s!!!! and some e3 n e4.. but whatever, we're gna have fun!!! (er... i hope so.)
♥azi / 1:03 PM
boo (x
yesh. its monday morning, rain isnt falling. ok, lame. watever. yday is all about surprises and fun.
had 'open house' and some of my frens came. i really appreciate that they took some time to come by my house. and i know they had fun playing with my nieces... *hinthint* heeeee. at the same time, my relatives came. so pretty hectic day. at one point, i was falling asleep. like seriously man, in the middle of the commotion, there i am falling asleep. aper hal laaaa... so i tried waking myself up by watching tv. heee. and the time was right coz gilmore girls was on. omg i miss that show.
so anyways, aft that, watch simpsons.. lalalala then some of my other frens came. =) was pretty shocked and glad my sec sch mates came.. no really, i miss them. the malay boys ar, irsyad, falah, syafiq, kamal, salim, azri and syamil. yah i know syamil!! gawd, its been ages since i saw him. azri joined like an hr later? so they were all playin xbox... irsyad,salim n kamal ate.. im pretty satisfied coz i have a decent conversation with each and everyone of them. not that long, but im satisfied. i tink they stayed pretty looong. 2+ hrs..? jeez. and they played MM3. not only that, i lose siol. yes! i NEVER lose to ANYONE. gawd. hahaha. nvm, i shall resurrect. haha. and i vow to improve my malay. coz it was pretty rusty while speakin to them yday. -_-" orang melayu aper ni aku.. haish. lolx.
so yup. =)
[to ain my bestest fren in the whole world: this helluva crazie girl turnedseventeenyesterday.like i said in the msg, im DYING to give you your prezzie darl!!! ;) *hugshugs*]
Saturday, November 20, 2004
♥azi / 4:27 PM
what is wrong with me?
i have alot of 'sudden cravings and feelings and -ings sewaktu dgnnyer'.
here's a list: - suddenly wana go bowling - im dying to eat some chocolate ice cream.. like wif the fudge, and the chips and *droooools* - okay seriously, i reeeeaally wana to go borders. - wana watch sad sad movies that will make me cry like a sickening person. i know, im pathetic. - feel like taking up a sport. what can i sae, im fat. - heart is in pain. - i feel a prt of me wanting to go to boat quay. - coffee bean. ultimate ice mocha with whipped cream please. and a brownie to go with. - and right now, i feel like crying. for no reason watsoever. suddenly so sad...
ihatehaving pms.
no realli, i realli do hate. i get angry over small stuff. and fed up coz of a phone call.
it sux. so, usually i advise u ppl to avoid me. if i scold u guys for stupid reason, u shud know y. but dont use this generally. not EVERYTHING is caused by pms kay, if nt, i'll kick ur butt.
Friday, November 19, 2004
♥azi / 11:24 PM
just came back from hangin out/ rayaing with the 4e1 and iggy ;) haha altoh its just one house.... we did have fun.
actually some of the e1s lar, but it wud have been greater if they've joined us..
went AJ ice before that. gawd. laughed lik cows thr..
esp evonne.. haha.
reeelek lar evonne.
met beloved geog teacher of ours. kinda missed her.. heeee. her hous like coool lar.
got stairs in the house alredy waaaaat..
after that head home. cant join them to jln kayu for supper.
i wish i can yah.. sory guys!
*psst. nex time it will be under *flashflash* at the linkies...enjoy!*
♥azi / 3:08 PM
(note: apparently tag-board.com has some problems for a FRIGGIN LONG TIME. so, me got a new one. *beams* so start tagging ya'll!)
im spose to update yday, but i had an unbearable pain. cramps and headache. urgh. cramps is already BAD enuf okiee...
oritey, lets tok abt yday.
went out wif zaid to x-square. yah, im a goood person. heex. so yah, went out wif him. being me - i was late. im sori lar, choosing wat shoe to wear. :x den i reach thr already, we, ok wait, I sorta embarrassed myself. shant say it here. lolx! onli zaid n me knows.. jeeez.
okie so, went to lot 1. and its been eons since i went thr lar. wen i stepped into the xbox plc, omg. i feel lik i was in heaven - onlywiththewrongperson.... ANYWAY *heehee*, we played a few games. and i have to admit Halo 2 was pretty cool. yes zaid, you won me 3-0 for car racing. the first to won me 3 times in a row. hat trick la kirekan. well duh, its a new game, a whole new thing. im nt being a sore loser kay, it was pretty nice to try sumtin new. (=
aft tat went to marsiling to look for xbox games. but the store close. zzzzz. and this zaid made me RUN to the bus. haha i used to run to the bus all the time, but u know, ive changed to take things slow ya know.. *alasan alasan* lucky i nv fall sia. so, took the bus to cwp. look for stuff and got it. i bought myself earrings.
oh dear gawd. im so in love wif it. i wudnt have bought if the saleperson didnt ask me to TRY. im such a sucker. haha. den went libby to get a book. wat happen in between, its an embarrassment. so, if ure dying to know, come and make an appointment with me.
aft tat, i went home. yup, we din stop to eat. haha. and zaid is like. azi lapar ar.. WHAT-everrr. cmon, dun pancit so fast. haha. its a rule, eat b4 goin out wif me. :p
--------------------
today, went to my niece's sch - PPIS. its kinda a big deal (to me) coz its her last day thr.. and she is performing. so, being a GOOD aunt, i went thr with my wet and uncomb hair, no hairband,no tissues, no bag, no IC (like it matters ALOT to me) but only with my fone. tats it. and a camera.
reached thr, and i din expect the place to be erm, small. since we're late, all the seats were taken, and they mentioned it doesnt cater for parents. so, they din prepare many seats. *rolls eyes* yah i stood all the way. and at one point, i was about to faint. hahaha. no kididn man. yah, my endurance level is running low man. i was feeling nauseous, wana faint any minute, sudden coldness esp at my face, i feel like the blood rushed down to my lower limb and i cant take ani more pics. my hand was shaking. and im not on steroids mind you... jeez. so aft my niece's performance, went to buy a drink at the canteen.
relieved man.
most of the time, i was taking pics and looking at the kids. they are so adorable and jus beautiful. not to forget brilliant. yes they are, u can tell from the way they speak and how they react to things. one even thought im a teacher thr. 0_0 i KNOW. wat were they tinkin!! heeee. cute creatures. den of course the usuals- run around like mad dogs (esp the boys) one of them even tore their kain samping rabak siol...den endless noise which is okie to me.. wat to do, they are kids. heeeee. haish.
one day i'll make lots of babies. lolx! i cant blive i said that. for now, pursue my studies to get what i want best for my family. ;)
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
♥azi / 9:06 PM
suppose to watch amazing race on axn, but i jus decided to blog. besides, i was interrupted by a whole group of guests, so, have to watch it on channel 5 later on. *prays*
this is confusing. just now my uncle thought i am a pri 6 student. and on monday, my aunt thought i am gettin married. jeez, im confused. hahaha. either way, i dont have much green packets. but come on, we go visitings cause of the money right? but this year for me, has been an emotional one. sigh. shant brood over it.
and speaking of confusing, i mixed up all the 'rank' of my relatives... like, uncle, for my dad side, i have to say it as 'wak'. but when it comes to my mom's side, it will be 'obek' or 'cik' or 'bibik'. granmother - nyayi/nenek. etc etc. i got all confused.. haha. and one of my aunt, looked so young. so, i called her 'cik'. but nope, wrong, suppose to call her nenek ... yah, i know - CONFUSING.
its craziness. i asked my bro-in-law how long he get to know my relatives.. like who is who, which side, how they are related. he said, "still figuring out." haha yah, blive it or not, i too still figuring out. my sis-in-law was lost after the third house on the first day. im not kiddin, nor am i not exaggerating. so, i wish lots of luck to my future sis in law. heeee. oh, when my bro get married, i tink it will be interestin to see my bro suffer. lolx. to get to know his in-laws side... *evil laughter*
aiyooo im still in a mood for raya you know. i feel like wearing baju kurung even though i am at home. but my mom said jus wear something decent. haha and i kiddingly said,"oh, you mean something like my nurse uniform." gawd. she laughed like that's the funniest joke. *rolls eyes*
did i mention that kids love me? no really!! haha okay, i know you guys dont blive me. haha. they just sooo adorable. and very bias too. hoho. like for instance, my nephew dont wan to salam my mom, but will salam me. haha so bias rite? den when i carry him, he wont cry. but will cry when others carry. aiyooo.. im so lovable. haha.
okie. now thr's more kids coming. so, i btr make use of my charm. :p
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
♥azi / 6:39 PM
dedicated to you. that you will be . . . . . .
--------------------- I do not love you . . . by Pablo Neruda
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way
that this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
---------------------
now don't lie, its beautiful right?
♥azi / 4:53 PM
right now, i wish im at Borders. surrounded by all those heavenly books, snuggled in a corner of the shop, fallin into Pablo Neruda's world.....
no, seriously.
i need that. . .
. . . . badly.
♥azi / 9:37 AM
i have to say tat this yr's raya was kinda sad for me.
thr's a similarity for every house i went for the first day... and that is, like, one of the family members is sick. like, seriously sick.
and one of them recently had an accident, and both of his legs are broken. he is at home, wif the wheelchair, legs straight on this wheelchair extension thingy. very sad.
he is my uncle. and he is like this super active guy who plays soccer, go fishing and jogging.
but now, its all gone.
i know i shudnt symphatise but pray for his health. he even refuse to take the money my bro and mom gave. instead he said, " i dont need money, i need your prayers for my safety and esp my family."
wah, i was holding back my tears sooooooo bad. but no, i shall be STRONG!! heeee..
yah, and the few houses are similar to this. its heartbreaking to see all happening at once u know. i cant imagine how much pain they go tru..
but can imagine how it will be like (or even worse) in the hospital later.
okie. enuf of the sad stuff.
my camera decided to DIE on raya. and manage to snap 2 pix.
and that is the family photo. good enuf lar.. hehe.
oh yah! my mom was askin me to put on some make up. like wth man.
so i reluctantly put on some here n thr. bleahz.
i fear tat i'll have pimples, tats y no make up for me. haha..
:p
shykes! speakin of pimples!!!!! i have one in the middle of my 2 eyebrows. like those indians wud put those like black dot thr.. YAH THR! sialah... but its not that bad ar, its not like it will erupt ani moment. well, wif the power of concealer, im able to erase it. hoho. yah, my mom cant even c it. yes yes, make up helps.
yday, went to my uncle house (dad's side), and i know they are old ppl, but its impossible that they dun even know who is who. coz my aunt tot i am my mom's grandchildren. (that is, my sis's daughter) jeeeeez. i was so surprised den all laugh lar. kaoz. haha.
tats not the worse part, she even tot im gettin married. at tat time, i was drinkin tea, and i swear i choke. and alll my family laughed.
i was helpless man. HELPLESSSSSssssss!!!
it was kinda funny lar. omg. haha. and i tot, tats it. enuf for the day people!
haha. and i was also thinkin how ain wud react if she was thr at that moment.
*ponders*
orite, sidetrack abit.... recently ive had weird dreams. i choose not to think abt it, but it keeps on coming. i seriously hope, it wont happen.
for now, i need to refill some kueh bottles.
ciao.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
♥azi / 1:20 PM
today will be the last day of the holy month - Ramadhan. i have to admit it was pretty fast... happie and sad abt it toh. happie coz Syawal is here, and sad coz .. nt so sure why, but it feels not enuf.
for the past few days, ive been helpin around. yes, no time to slack or game. haha usually i will be too lazy to move my fat ass. but, i duno what move me to wrestle wif the cushions, deal wif difficult curtains, settle down the cakes and endless cutting of onions. ceh! like alot ar, haha. i know i have to like, work or help out. coz it will be another month of holiday for meeeeee......! urgh. i have to start somewhere hehe.
i feel that this year raya is goin to be the same typical Moin's family way - spontaneous planning. but also a . . . lazy one too. my mom said, we will onli be goin out at night. does tat sound good or bad? i duno. something different toh. haha. that means, i can game in my baju kurung the WHOLE aftnn!! weeee!!! heeee....
and right now, my house is still in a total MESS. folks our to geylang for last minute shopping. gran in the kitchen doing some ... cooking i tink. bro watchin tv - like tats new. and for once me, here... SLACKING. hoho.
oh how much i miss my sec sch frens. we all shud so go out for raya outing kay? same goes for my other frens from other schs ;)
for now, lemme do a lil sumtin called - CLEAN THE HOUSE. before i end my entry, i'll do the "oh-im-sorri-will-u-forgiv-me" mini speech for my Muslim frens (its weird to type it out in malay, but watever) : A'kum all, bukan selalu aku cakap melayu, tapi since its Hari Raya and i will mesti cakap all this to my ciks or waks or neks or watever, why not giv u guys the same treat ya? Kalau lah, i have been tersinggung u all or salah cakap, ader kesalahan apa pun, azi menyusun sepuluh jari dan minta maaf... Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.
phew! glad tats over, but agn, its a vicious cycle - i'll do it agn. hoho. eh, dun forgot come my house kayyy.. oh yah, i'll have open house thingy. dun wori, i'll let u guys know.
weeeeee!!!
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
♥azi / 9:21 PM
arrrr... another day passed.
and i had a TOTAL BLAST yday lar.
like totallylooorrrrr..
hahaha.
i know one thing for sure, we laughed like mad cows. i know i did lar.
and we took pics. hahaha kinda feel bad coz i volunteer myself to be taken.
haha. and we did attempt to take a few pics by ourselves.
its sooooo cooooool man. no seriously, i din know hanging out wif my MAD frens can be this cool. and with ustaz harun, well, who dun reali look like ustaz haha. but watever, we had fun!!
weeeeee!!!!
oh, we buka out at this pattaya garden restaurant.
aft the solats and wat nots, we head off to walk ard at the bazaar.
not tat many ppl lar, still can stretch our hands and all..
while walkin ard, we did some munching too. heeee
and also get to 'capture' wat ppl are saying lik..
thx tofana, we can take endless pix. heeeeee. thx tosallyfor this successful outing. thx to nisafor.. haha nt mad at me ;)
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
♥azi / 2:02 PM
so, its jus another day for me. groan.
omg. yday nite was crazy.
yes it was the ultimatecraziness.
hahaha i din know it can be such a big fuss lar.. u all make me sound like im 35 yrs old. im still 17 and pls lar, i'll find one okay. hahhaa
and i pity crapper, ure the man. owe u big. haha.
tonite, goin to buke out again. wif my MADrasah peeps. woohoo! hope it'll be great ya'll!!! weeeeeee!!!!
gawd.
omg! rayer in 4 days time! cooool bananas lar.
sheesh. im bored. ok i shall go plant some sunflower seeds.
Monday, November 08, 2004
♥azi / 1:17 PM
as promised :)
------------
first and foremostly, i shall respect u as a human being. coz clearly, i dun tink u are.
already its not enuf uve owed so much to her, uve came back with no feeling of guilt watsoever. see, i told u ure not a human being.
i swear i cant list down how many things that uve done to her and the ppl ard her. and it matters cos uve made my frenship wif my bestes fren ever at the edge of a cliff. thats how manipulative u are asshole. oh yah, not onli uve owed her money, but also loads of apologies. u being in her life for tat period was priceless in case u duno.
newsflash asshole, ure nothing to her. coz she has found someone who is way off btr than u. and if u tink u came back tryin to impress her wif ur glorious achievements or how-much-uve-changed speech, im sori uve wasted ur wasteful time preparing for it.
like seriously man, what do u want from her binatang?
i bet ur life is filled wif nothing but misery and pain right now. well, i hope u are like at the corner of a room, screaming for pain, reflecting wat u SHUD do and wat ure SHUDNT do. but then agn, dun waste ur time. go and do wat u do best - spreading rumours.
like wat ppl say, dun say anitin if u duno anitin. apparently, u dun understand and tat simply means u need an education. oh wait, u do? oh, im sori, go and find a btr institution who will provide u btr education yah? no no, dun do me or her a favor, jus do urself a favor. and prolly ur future girls who wud innocently fall into ur trap.
urgh.
honestly, i dun hate alot of people. and i dun go ard making enemies. but YOU are jus getting on my last nerve. yah, the nerve tat might jus cost u life. and i can literally count how many enemies i have, u shud be honoured coz ure my first, asshole.
some advice that u might wana take from arifah..
GROW UP. MOVE ON.
start a new life if u have to. like literally MOVE or sumtin. change ur name.
jeez.
have i mentioned that ure nothing to her?
oh yes i did. but watever.
jus emphasizing some facts.
------------
♥azi / 11:38 AM
i have alot of stuff to tok abt yday. i din go to jb toh.. but i know i went round singapore teehee
first was geylang coz mom wans to get briyani. *smacks lips* and there was an argument between this 2 makciks. haha. coz the makcik in front already ordered 2 pkts. den wen her golden girls came, she ordered like gazzilion more. oh wait! thrs more troops of golden girls! so the makcik behind me, was like... 'eh, awak ni jgn lah potong jln. yang baru dtg tu berdiri kat blakang mcm kiter semuer ni.' lolx! i knew this is gonna go somewhre nasty. den the makcik like gave her THE MAKCIK LOOK and jeling at her. like woah lady! bulan puaser.. relek ar. leave ur nasty attitude at home. kaoz. den the org jual go and tell the leader of golden girls to wait coz shes taken my order. wah liao ar! she went bezerk lor! saying, 'ala! baru beraper tak boleh buat kan? org dah nak balik!' zzzzzz. like i dun hav to looorr.
heeee
den frm thr went to ikea buy some pillows and pillow covers. most of the time i was wondering somewhr else lookin at stuff. like.. mirrors.. the vases.. carpets.. oh gawd. they are so pretty man. my mom also cannot tahan. she like wan to buy. but being me, i asked her not to coz we have other stuff to buy. so she put back all the 'unnecessary' stuffs. her look on the face - gosh! hahaa priceless. so cute..like im the mother. haha.
nex stop was clementi central. why on earth im thr? go to NUTC. lolx!! yah.. den went to my neightbour's house.. at my blk last time. i duno, wenever i go clementi, it remind me of all the memories i had. i grew up thr... haish. *ponders*
so yah! den went bak to cwp to metro. alamak, i tell u, its crazy thr. so many people. coz its the last day whr metro has 20% less storewide. i also go crazy. haha coz my mom asked me to find my bag and shoe. my eyes sparkle wen i see the glorious shoooess and baaaaags. *drooools* haha.
oh oh! thrs an argument part 2!!! between an indian family (of 3) and a taka-tai-tai lady. wah! i salute the indian lady man! she has a nasty tongue! haha. so here goes, the indian lady accidentally hit her at the shoulder. so like, normal waaat. some more at the state of the place.. so the tai-tai was like, STARE at the lady. woah~ big mistake. indian lady SHOUTED. 'im sory ma'am! we din mean to HIT u!" waaaah, den the tai tai say back, 'since jus now uve been hitting me!' i wanted to laugh coz she sounded like she's been abused. i was so excited at this point coz the indian lady gave sarcastic remarks.. NONSTOP. and i pray for the tai-tai's safety. and i cant imagine the pain she had to go tru. and thr was like at least 5 people b4 the taitai's turn. hahaha. the indian went on sayin like.. "im sure at Harrods SHE wont be makin a scene. STRANGE attitude these ppl hav *pause n go infront of the lady and look at her at the face and go bak* yah, she is DEFINITELY not from singapore......"
etcetc.
yah, i had the time of my life.
and i tink we spent the most at metro. coz i was carrying like HEAVY bags lar. kaoz. and i have to agree wif carson, shopping is good for cardio.
;)
Saturday, November 06, 2004
♥azi / 9:23 PM
i dont know wat has gotten into me. i didnot buy a single thing yday. like seriously, i din even splurge on a pair of earrings!! gawd. yah, yday wen buka-ing wif the ex-evgians. gleeeeeeness. i know i enjoyed myself. but, lets jus say, thr has been some coldness among some people. ok, mayb towards/from one particular person. but that aint gonna stop me from being talkative and loud and noisy and sarcastic. hohoho.
i pity radzi. haha. as much as i dislike (note: dislike NOT hate) him, i know i shudnt b mean and innocently shoot my criticisms to him. u name it, i did it. his hair especially. goodness, if he let kyan see tat, he might need to go on a full yoga session alone in timbuktu.
and its as toh he wana show how light his hair is, he keeps on flinging it ard. i realli tot he's 'crooked' man. teehee.
ok, back to the fact that i did not shop yesterday. i swear the shoes, bags, the oh-so-B E A uuutiful tops and bottoms are screaming my name to purchase them. argh. and it was a HUGE mistake everybody. coz i cant slp. ok i did slept, but nt well.. already im sleeping in the hall's sofa. arrrrrrrr!!!! i jus cant stop thinkin abt the SHOE!!!! the black pointy shoe at trendy zone, far east plaza level one. oh why did i torture myself? and guess wat, i did not pass by the guru-ala-guru shop - ADIDAS. urgh. the pain and agony i had at nite.
but oh well, i did enjoyed myself. i had terrible neck sore. coz *ahem* being arifah, i need to 'look up' wen im tokin to someone who is *ahem* a lil taller than me. eh seriously lor! sakit siol.. hahaha and wenever i wana speak to zaid, i will measure one arm's length. hahaha
i need to compensate on the shopping hours. one thing i know for sure, i need a shopping partner. if u can stand me trying to choose a pair of earings for at least half an hr or so,*winks at ain* ure pretty much thr to become my partner in shopping. but if u tink ure gonna back out by the 10th min, well im sorry, ure eliminated. and ain will still be at the top of my list coz she totally survived goin tru much more than half hr on earrings. right ain darl? teehee.
ooh! and its been ages since i go home late. yday reach hm ard 12.03am - in one piece and still a virgin. crazy rite? 12.30 siol.. coz aft went town, we(ayu,andi,zaid,khai and me)head to al-ameen @ marsiling(i tink)area.. i tink we had more fun thr than far east. duno, prolly, the grp is smaller and ez to kena tease and laugh at each other. heeeheeee.
eh zaid, the cat wont scratch u k? yes, our fren zaid here, got kinda freaked out wen this cutie cat (i name it - pussy! lolx) stare at him for like a looooong time. and pussy made a move on him by grabbing his shirt. nt bad ar, very horny sia. hehe ok i know lame. he freaked out. haha. and made an excuse sayin he's shy.. zaid, pls.. *rolls eyes*
psst. i want to watch 'the incredibles' and i cant wait to see how sex-ay can mr incredible be. hahaha. eh wait, ron stoppable is gonna be mad!! *ponders* hehehe
alamak, tonite ader queer eye!!! *squeals* and tmr goin jb *groan* hopefully will be back before 6pm coz i need to satisfy my weekly dosage of gilmore girls. heeeeee.
(to ain: dun wori, i promise i will diss him the nex entry yah? *hugskisses*)
Friday, November 05, 2004
♥azi / 1:30 PM
gawd, u guys watch sg idol yday?
taufik was so ... goodness. so good.
like, superbly fabulous. power man.
mesmerized wen he sang al green's let's stay together.
i hate myself for not watchin last wk's performance.
but there'll be a repeat. so, mesti watch lah!
*droooools*
hahaha.
and pug jelly's come home soon is haunting my head ...
I think I'm fallin' down. Down down down.... With a bad case of love. Love love love.... I think I'm falling for you. You you you.... I think, I'm falling in love *faints*
Thursday, November 04, 2004
♥azi / 1:03 PM
yayness everybody!
yday was the last day of exam season. ok wait, not realli. coz im doin psycho supp paper. screw tat lar. but watever, im gonna slack weeeeee!
suddenly i duno wat i shud be doin. heeeheee. lemme see, my bro got the '24' (the show i mean)dvds. so im gonna watch tat... and also band of brother marathon. prolly some other dvds i promised to watch. hmmm... oh, i borrowed a bk frm libby. so im gonna read.. and of course, wat i do best - xboxing babeh! weeeeee!!! i tot of crashin to rp haha. and mt my beloved frens and try gamin at the .. i duno, tee told me thrs xbox place. hehe. erm, oh, and also the daily online routine.
my sis wans me to go kl wif her on sunday.. and prolly back by tuesday. its tempting.. but i cant.
haha coz i will be buka-ing wif my 04S9 malay peeps. hope it'll be fun catchin up and all.. and also coz thrs gilmore girls haha. i missed 2 episodes man. den on tuesday, buka-ing wif my madrasah peepz. *squeals* but, the tot of goin geylang, freaks me out. haha.
oh oh! this friday will be buka-ing wif the rocking ex-evg malay peeps!!! ok, mayb not all. but it will be fuuuun! coz ain (my bestest fren ever in the universe), nj (my guru haha ;) ), and hopefully my cls ppl wil be thr too!! goodness cant wait. den shall rock town coz we're eating at far east plaza. and i'll pray tat thrs place for us. kekeke.
and in a few mins time, i hav to head down to evg for training. footdrill training, meaning, free sun tan. haha. miss the red cross ppl too.
i felt as though ive lost touch wif the life i once loved.
like red cross, i duno if im afraid of taking the challenge or im lazy. ive been kinda like MIA-ing. it doesnt feel good. coz i used to be totally involved. and now im sorta, outdated for sum stuff. its partly my fault too, coz i din take the initative to ask. abt my frens (doesnt matter whr ure from) whom ive spoken to like eons ago, i duno if im able to open up and speak to them like i once did. well, its been ages since we spoke, so, i duno.. people change in every aspect.
*sigh*
hopefully i can bring those back.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
♥azi / 1:21 PM
woot! 1026 was a breeeze haha. action pulak..
glad its over.. supposedly tmr is my last paper.. btu i do have EL 'O's to do.. groan. dejavu all over again.. zzzz.
and then i have my psychology paper. bloody toot. cant wait for psycho paper!!
and i cant wait for sch to reopen coz im missing the hottie already...
*drooooooools*
Monday, November 01, 2004
♥azi / 10:21 PM
yesh!
bio paper is like soooo over.
hehe. so relieveddd.
and im nt gonna tok abt the paper.
period.
and omg! the hottie was in front of me jus now [in the mornin] and the place is like so cram.
haaaaaaa!!!
hehehe.
happiness happiness!!
weeeeeee!!!!
so basically, tats the climax of the day.
and on the way home, im like completely happie while other ppl are like.. erm.. not happy coz of the bio paper.
heeeheee.
o well, wateva.
♥ azi
and as a profession, I am a follower of Florence Nightingale.
haflah was pretty interesting. the guys are like, boyband. only that they are singin nasyid style. thrs the endless. 'wakil' thingy goin on. jeeez. initially the rayaing was pretty ... boring. hehe yah. coz firstly it was raining, and my energy level is just very low. so, not hyped up. oh ya, the guys joined us!! nt all, but enuf to rock the outing.
.... until at night. after drinking coke at fana's hse.
gawd.
i should really learn how to be civilised in public AT NIGHT.
I was so high I did not recognize
anyways, i had fun. coz we sorta able to 'tok' to each other more than in class. up to a point that mamat and shah asked me whats my full name.
*rolls eyes*
samer class for sooo long only now you ask. haha.
Hypnotized by the words you say
and take lots of pix!!! haaaaaaa. what i do best. haha.
my house was the last pit stop. so, heeee, i finally get the feeling of being the last house. and i kinda hope the rest wont be back home late. coz they all stay at the west area.
*sweats*
I tried to laugh but i cried instead
today, the nyp biznes students starts schooling. haish.
i miss school.
im tired of rotting at home. ok not realli, coz most of the time i will be out. heeeez.
but still! like, bosan ar.
Give me the sweetest goodbye
OMG! queer eye was so sweeeet and nice!! i mean last sat. like woah man. so touching. and jai cried... i remembered he mentioned he cried because of the diamond.
*cricket sounds*
hahaha oookaaaaay, i cried because of the speech and the ceremony. the diamond...? ok mayb i will la if my prince charming give it to me. haha.
Refuse to regret
hmmm, tmr si eusoff punyer open house. then some of our nursing mates will be thr too. haha. mesti gerek punyerr... actually malas wan to go, but since they all will be thr, why nt go rite? heeee. den thr'll be nas and mya will be comin along too!! weeeee! hahaha.
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold
for now, i tink i btr start studying for psycho paper... this comin wednesday will be the paper. heeeee. i wonder how it'll be. both the paper and who will be thr. *grinz*
Saturday, November 27, 2004
/ 10:18 PM
honestly, i don't know what EXACTLY i want in life. well yah, people always say a car, good education, ultimately tie the knot and have many wonderful kids. same goes for me. the exact order and of course additional stuff in between.. for those who knows me will understand. and if u still don't, please make an appointment with me to give u a personal spank. anyway, yes. i am very indecisive. im torn between 2 pairs of earrings for an hour that almost killed my dear ain. heee. i took almost a yr to figure out if i should be a sponsored student. that's very long ya know. only recently ive made up my mind to be bonded. to me, that is already a very very crucial decision. it matters ALOT coz it changes my life. to the nurses to be, you'll get it.
Let me in to see you in the morning light
To get me on and all along the tears they come
See all come, I want you to believe in life
But I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
And when you find out who you are its too late to change
people ask me, what am i goin to do aft gettin diploma of nursing. i would always react the same way which is..
pause. and say,"hmm, not realli sure. maybe work and study at the same time."
the next qn will be,"dont u wan to go overseas or sumtin?" again, i'll go.. pause. "well ya, i would love to. but i dono if i have the money ya know." yes, another qn. "oh! im sure you will go overseas. it will be great. so do have ani like, interest in specialising in anything?" duh, i hav to ans. pause." hmm, i know i cant do paediatrics. not becoz i hate kids, i realli love them. its just, hard to see children already suffering for their life.mayb, i duno.. maybe. hmm i duno."
I wish I could be everylittle thing you wanted, all the time Oh, I wish I could be everylittle thing you wanted, all the time, sometimes
so you c, at this moment, i should at least know what i wan. like the skeleton. already in the topic of 'education' i cant ans those qns, how abt in other aspects of life? for example, money? work? or even .... relationship? yes, it has been the 'topic' of everyone actually. jeeeez. haha. let your hair down, relax, i know you all care for me, but just, (like wat poh boon said) let nature do it. ;)
Lift me up, just lift me up dont make a sound Let me hold you up before you hit the ground See all come, you say your alright But i get the strangest feeling that you've gone away, you've gone away And when you find out who you are too late to change
yup, i need alot of thinkin to do. i tink ive mentioned this alot of times.. about red cross. gosh. i dun tink im that active anymore. what is wrong wif me? wait, im not active in anything anymore. that explains on how free i am. i should really start doin something beneficial. maybe like, cooking? haha yes, if crapper can cook, so can i! :p felt so demoralised wen someone won me in xbox. hahaha. nvm nvm, i shall be strong.
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, all the time Oh, I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, every thing you wanted, all the time Don't give me up Don't give me up tonight Soon nothing will right at all, salvation Cause when you find out who you are too late to change Too late to change
tomoro is haflah. after that will be rayaing with the MAD ppl. pretty excited coz its the very first tim we'll be doin this aft knowing each other since kindergarten? rite fana? *winkswinks* alah, but it'll be more fun if the guys join us. heeee. aniwei, i shall start doin some thinkin, i duno maybe write it on my diary about it..? get all depress by watchin love actually? heee. hmm, yah. i shall do tat.
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, all the time Oh, I wish I could be every little thing you wanted every little you wanted all the time This time, everylittle thing you wanted all the time, oh But I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
Friday, November 26, 2004
/ 11:25 PM
yes, i went out again this week. omg. like craziness man. ive never done this for soooo long. so aniwei, went sch today for psycho remedial. and i was suuuper late. like seriously, i went in the cls, and all eyes on me. siaak aaaaar. paiseh siol. so i jus, dgn slumbernyer walk in and sit w/o politely askin if the seat is taken. WHR HAS MY MANNERS WENT TO?!
so yah, half of the time im in the cls, i was like, singing this DISHWALLA SONG in my head (thx to someoneeeee.. :p) . gawd. hooow to focus. haha but yah, i still ended up gettin some stuff in my head. the cls ended like, half and hr later. so fast siol. was wondering what to do for 1hr n 15mins. coz im meetin nas and mya to head to town. so, went makan at mcd wif hafiz,mus and this girl (arr! forgot her name!!). and hafiz is sooo nice he blanja us. awwwww.. haha. thx boss!
den we chatted and all.. met ms gwen and ms caroline too. chat some more.. laughed like hell too. soooo, its time to go coz the guy hav to go friday prayers. i waited at the mrt for like very long time. haha and hafiz being very nice waited with me for a while .. but he have to go la in the end coz met the other malay guys. so yah.. and finally the gurus came!! haha yes.. nice to meet them. so we go lido to buy tix for bridget jones. den they did make up on me in the toilet. geee. haha. aft tat like go buy fruits,sushi and went mc cafe to haaaanngg out ya'll!!
nice nice time. and chatted some more. off we went to watch the movie. omg, very heart warming, sweeeeeet and touching. thx to waterproof mascara, my make up is nt ruined. hahaha. very nice la. and very farnie. so! aft tat went MNG to try some outfits.. so fun! soooo nice too!! den went far east too. tats wen the shoppin starts! we each bought ourselves something. heeee. nas- this bbeeeautiful top! fantabulous la
mya- shoes! omg. those hottt hotttt shoes!! me- bag! haha thx to my fashion guru :)
oh, mya's guy (jason) joined us too. haha. aft tat went makan at BK. omg. we took like a few mins to fig out whr to eat. end up doin 'oh-ar-pay-yar-som' gawd. met my parents n sis at thr too. haha. so cute la they. okie, den aft makan tot mt my folks to go home wif them. but i politely told them i nd to accompany nas home. so they let me went off myself! haaaa!
yes, we end up went to forever 21 to try on some outfits. waaah, i tink i should wear a hat someday. hahaha. ok nah, i shant. haha.very nice la.. omg. very very nice. den we met mya and jason agn. go home aft tat. we took some pix wif my fone. heee. and its very farnie la, coz we tried squeezin everyone. wic we finally did!! yay! heeee.
(L-R: jason, mya, nas and me. jeeez.)
and in the train, siala. we went crazy too. we laughed coz of this lady. she is asleep. and her mouth is like a funnel(like wat mya said)coz its super wide open. hahaha. and i went on saying itreminds me of the leaning tower of pisa coz she like slanted on side. the girl beside her look SO terrified. omg. i cant stop laughin la at tat time. so i ended up look down. jeeez. farnie siol.
heeee. i had a great time gals! (=
thx for the fanatbulous day!! muaxmuax!
ok no As la, as expected. hahaha. but im SO glad coz i paaassssssss my BIO!!!
omg.
ive mostly got Bs. wow. how great rite? haha!
4 Bs 2 C+ and one no grade coz nv sit for it. heeeee. *gasp* that means i passed my sociology module tooooo!
and i got btr grade for bio than my nursing science 1027. jeeeez. hahahahaha!!!!
omg. im so glad i passed. thank god man.
oh yah, and i hav to take supp paper for psychology la. coz i din come for it. hahahaha
yay!!!!!!!!
hmm some of u mite be wondering how come so many modules.. ok, heres the explanation. one of the modules is my attachment. one of it biological science. one of it nursing clinical laboratory 2 of it is behaviourial science.
2 of it nursing science. so.... yah. heeeee.
omg. im so happie. den now must chiong for psycho paper!! go me! it'll be on 1st dec. dat means... i duno if i can make it for EDC. hmmm. o well, i passssed! yay!
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
/ 11:21 PM
SO! its ANOTHER rayaing day for me. i tell you, by the end of this week, i'll be dead tired sak. coz i tink i still have a few more rayaing to do.. like what min said "rayaing spree" haha. *faints*
(L-R) mya, nas and me!! at pasir ris mrt. heeee
and im so proud of myself coz i survived in my heels today!!! yay!! not only that, the make up gurus did some make up on me. lolx! lik one girl's outing haha. so aniweis, met them (nas & mya) at the 858 bus stop. gosh. i miss them alot. haha. so we chit-chat. blah blah. compliment and make each other kembang. haha. oh, this eusoff din join us coz he's tired from the rayaing the nite b4 (yah, like im not eh, eusoff :p).
first house was marina's. and its alllll the way at pasir ris. the last time i met her was ... *counts* 3 yrs? yah.. around thr. on the way thr, we like laughed like hell, tok nonsense, criticise ppl, and do wat girls do la.. haha.
upon reaching her hse, we watched tv la, eat, take pix and yes - the highlight - they did make up on me. gawd. so paiseh la, but kinda fun. haha. i tink we spent ard 2 hrs thr? haha. yah ard thr.. den makan the macaroni. omg. sedap siol... and we drank ALOT of kickapoo till we went high. haha. coz once we left her hse, we cant stop laughing and being lame. yes, crazy bunch of hot babes. ceeeehh. haha.
we took some more pix and went crazy. ok, aft that, we went to eusoff's. hahaha mya cant stop saying how hansem he is. like seriously.......! haha. okla, pleasant looking. but dun rub it in ya. haha. eusoff joined us from then on... aft that off to mar's hse. felt a lil er, out of place coz i dun realli know her.. but yah, jus act cool. heeee. radzi's was next..i was soo tempted to piss him off by criticising him. haha. but since its hari raya, i shall spare him the agony. OMG. you cant guess what conversation we had at his hse. macam, aper sak, of ALL things, we toked abt our [eusoff & me] hospital attachments. like, WTH lar?! haha. no no, i shant post it here. haha.
okie, sid's was next. and his lil cuzin is SO ADORABLE. SO CUTE. siala, lucky she's out of my reach, if nt, i'll hug and squeeeeze her. so cute seh!! but no, im a gooood person. i wont do that.heee. and at his house was when reality hits me [and very hard] - my results is gna be out tmr!!!!!! kanina. haha. scary sia.. ok shh! lets change subject.
SO ANIWEI, we went to mya's house next. and thats when i cannot tahan already. my throat is KILLING ME. its super sore to the core. it hurs like hell. so, i like, step cool ar. haha. drink bit by bit gitu. we watched Ed thr, and chatted some more. and her aunt is so cool coz she gave nas n me a nail polish. sheeeesh. im SO spoilt. haha. oh yah, then thrs this endless argument between me n eusoff regardin the money we owed each other. *rolls eyes* but wonderful mya solved it for us. haha.
aft much drama-mama, we finally went to nas's hse. but mya din follow. coz its like weird for her to come more than once. so yah, my heels got stuck like endless times between the drains. paiseh sak. haha. okie, wen reach nas's hse. i requested for plain water and stayed thr till 10.30 coz wanted to watch E.C. (this malay show lar). also to accompany nas coz she its like thrs this grp of her ex schmates came. heeee yah. eusoff and me are very nice ppl. onli im nicer :p yah, ate her fantabulous mee hoon goreng. *smacks lips*. aft those ppl went off, we watch more tv,took more pix and finally balik.
here i am, feeling nervous, excited, scared, nerve wrecked and nervous for my results. furthermore im feeling sick. so, i tink shall end here ppl. till den, cya!!!
/ 10:49 AM
jalan raya sakan - that's what was it yesterday. betulnyer giler sak. haha. yes, i DID vow to improve my malay. so i sorta tried to speak more malay yesterday. and it all turned out ... wrong. haha and very paiseh lor.. orang melayu pun tak tau what is 'alarm' in malay. jeeez. and got ppl to edit for us. zzzz.
so anw, went to andi's hse first. and since its janji melayu, i reached thr at 11.30 instead of 10.30. lolx!! and its sorta like, stoning session for everyone at that time. all like watching central like its the best channel ever. den ate food and stuff. and finally came to a decision to go to my hse next. *beams*
upon reachin, as usual, watch more tv... and force them to eat. den took many pix. had a chat wif my beloved frens and of course - got booted by farhan and syafiq(agn) in xbox. ferkz man. lolx!
hudha's next and on the way thr, ain,nad, zaida and me sang lagu raya like no one's bisnes, and jaywalked like that's our road. seriously la, we mite DIE. so aniweis, we reach thr, and my gawd, spent like 2 hrs at hudha's? yah.. ard thr. and wat did we do? i know, i watched putri gunung ledang. the rest sorta slacked.. some watched wif me, others god knows what they did. eh sialah, that show is soooo touching. altoh i din get to finish watching, its so sad lor. sniff. i SO need to watch it again - with tissues this time. heee.
at hudha's plc is when we came to our census that WE NEED TO HAVE A PLAN. and not stay at each hse for 1+hr. haha yah, aft that went to hazwanie's.. yay! miss her like goats man. saleha's next.. laughed like cows thr. shant say it here. heeeee. den ayuni's.... den cikgu imran's hse. wah siao lor, the view from his hse is fantabulous. is sooo nice n cooling. syiok. and his daughter cute giler seh.... by then, i swear i put on 5 kg. ate non stop. oh, falah got to steal some shuts... (took a nap). and got a snap of him snoozing. he look so steamed sia.
anw, off we went to kamil's BUT no one's home.. so we drraaagggggged ourselves to zaid's. his hse so cozy.. hee i like. and over thr, makan lagi. siak arrrrr. haha. and the guys go and take the sweets sampaikan empty seh the botol. tu dah gelojoh oi.... ok, den we waited like siao for 911. and like i said - siao - we (ain,zaida,hudha and me) went crazy and laughed like hell tryin to be dumb blondes (malay version in baju kurung, goin rayaing). i know we went crazy lar.
took more pix in the bus.. went crazy agn.. and finally reached kamil's. the time was 11.40pm. and im so screwed. hahaa. but like, no nice rite nv go to the last 2 hses.. and it wasnt a mistake lor goin thr. his hse is sooo nicely furnished. i bet thom will be SO proud of his bro. like seriously looorrrr... so chio. yes, we ATE some more. gaaaawwwwd. bloated.
farhan's the last hse. and we rushed thr, not onli its friggin late, its drizzling!!! so went thr... went crazy by being a homo wif ain. hahaha. kamil and andi joined in but they too got grossed out aft a while. SO we FINALLY reached the last hse. and i realllllllllliieeeeeeeee want to stay longer, but i doubt my folks wudnt be happie to c her anak dara out till the weeee morning (altoh its nt quite yet *rolls eyes*). at the last hse, it has been a tradition for us to seek forgiveness. so we did... oh! did i mention farhan's sis is uber adorable?! omg she is looorrr! samer hair style ngan abg dier. haha.so anw, we head home aft that. aft hugs and kissess n salamings, we went our separate ways. but, a ew of us walked home. and i was sooo honoured coz they sent me home. haha. nt realli lar, they hav to pass my hse first to go to theirs. haha. so yah..
had a great great time with them. i truly did. altoh i wished some of the others were thr coz we wud definitely have more fun.and even toh i got teased with the many names they've made, it reminded me of those days n din bothered me at all... *ponders* anyhoo, i hope we wud kp in touch and hang out more. not only during raya lar, as in jus plain slackin and rotting session.
Monday, November 22, 2004
/ 9:19 PM
yay! its been a rawking today ya'll!! went out wif nj and ig!! weeee!! and saw a hot guy in the train *drooools* lolx!
we took loads of pix BUT haish, our looovely jannah ter-delete them. and we did some last min snaps in front of *koff* our alma mater - EVG. jeez.
okie okie! so we went makan at BK. omg. i miss eating at BK ya'll!! ate like one glutton and as usual, i as the last to finish. *groan* so aniweis, aft tat we hit borders. waaaah, sampai jugak hajat aku. hahaha we went round drowning in our own worlds looking at books. gawd. and we each bought ourselves notebook!! weeeeee!! i know guys - we are SO cool!!! heeeee. aft that we went to taka. i wanted to get blusher.. den wasted time go thr and went bak to mrt. zzzzz. OMG! we got interrupted by some bitch. gawd. like, seriously ar! *eve style* whatever lar, so ANIWEI, we went to peninsula plaza. and god knows how many times we went up n down the escalator and crossin the road. lolx! like one sua koo ppl man.
nj got her shoes!! yay!!! so nice loorrrr.. ya loorrr.. yay! so glad we had what we want!! oh, but i got stuck wif that jersey i saw.. omg. its so nice, but dun have the netted type. so, i shall hunt for the netted kind ;)
aft that we head back to wlands coz want to join ain's surprise thingy. but in the end, the plans sorta got changed and surprised my dearrrr ain at civic!!! heeeee! so glad to meet her!!!! gawd. gave her the gifts and chatted for a while.. haish. hahaha. but before that went to get my blusher. wah, puas hati. haha. weeeee!! o yah!! we also went to popular coz nj wana get pencil case for ifah. we met our beloved and fave LIT tcher of allll time - Mr Liang. wah song boo man, long time nv meet him. heeeez. so yah, aft meeting ain n all, we walked back home. met Mr TCH and Mdm Kartini on the way too. heeeee. they are soo best frens.. altogether now - AWWWwwwww~~~~!!!
we sorta tried not to tok on the way home, but we jus cant. i mean, its so friggin PAINFUL coz we're nt tokin. like sufferign in silence....!!! hahaha. and we met (what nj said to be) azri and syafiq on the way home.. wave like some sua koo kids.. and walk on to EVG. so thats when we did last min snaps. lolx!! i bet the motorists were staring at us... haha who cares rite?
orite, so, wat u guys think of my new layout?
thx tomarinadarling, micheal vartan [or agent micheal vaughn]is in my blog.. haha. hottt rite?! omg. yes he is ... and tonight gna watch Alias.. *droooools*
tomoro will definitely be a rockin da for me too.. coz rayaing wif the e1 and e2s!!!! and some e3 n e4.. but whatever, we're gna have fun!!! (er... i hope so.)
/ 1:03 PM
boo (x
yesh. its monday morning, rain isnt falling. ok, lame. watever. yday is all about surprises and fun.
had 'open house' and some of my frens came. i really appreciate that they took some time to come by my house. and i know they had fun playing with my nieces... *hinthint* heeeee. at the same time, my relatives came. so pretty hectic day. at one point, i was falling asleep. like seriously man, in the middle of the commotion, there i am falling asleep. aper hal laaaa... so i tried waking myself up by watching tv. heee. and the time was right coz gilmore girls was on. omg i miss that show.
so anyways, aft that, watch simpsons.. lalalala then some of my other frens came. =) was pretty shocked and glad my sec sch mates came.. no really, i miss them. the malay boys ar, irsyad, falah, syafiq, kamal, salim, azri and syamil. yah i know syamil!! gawd, its been ages since i saw him. azri joined like an hr later? so they were all playin xbox... irsyad,salim n kamal ate.. im pretty satisfied coz i have a decent conversation with each and everyone of them. not that long, but im satisfied. i tink they stayed pretty looong. 2+ hrs..? jeez. and they played MM3. not only that, i lose siol. yes! i NEVER lose to ANYONE. gawd. hahaha. nvm, i shall resurrect. haha. and i vow to improve my malay. coz it was pretty rusty while speakin to them yday. -_-" orang melayu aper ni aku.. haish. lolx.
so yup. =)
[to ain my bestest fren in the whole world: this helluva crazie girl turnedseventeenyesterday.like i said in the msg, im DYING to give you your prezzie darl!!! ;) *hugshugs*]
Saturday, November 20, 2004
/ 4:27 PM
what is wrong with me?
i have alot of 'sudden cravings and feelings and -ings sewaktu dgnnyer'.
here's a list: - suddenly wana go bowling - im dying to eat some chocolate ice cream.. like wif the fudge, and the chips and *droooools* - okay seriously, i reeeeaally wana to go borders. - wana watch sad sad movies that will make me cry like a sickening person. i know, im pathetic. - feel like taking up a sport. what can i sae, im fat. - heart is in pain. - i feel a prt of me wanting to go to boat quay. - coffee bean. ultimate ice mocha with whipped cream please. and a brownie to go with. - and right now, i feel like crying. for no reason watsoever. suddenly so sad...
ihatehaving pms.
no realli, i realli do hate. i get angry over small stuff. and fed up coz of a phone call.
it sux. so, usually i advise u ppl to avoid me. if i scold u guys for stupid reason, u shud know y. but dont use this generally. not EVERYTHING is caused by pms kay, if nt, i'll kick ur butt.
Friday, November 19, 2004
/ 11:24 PM
just came back from hangin out/ rayaing with the 4e1 and iggy ;) haha altoh its just one house.... we did have fun.
actually some of the e1s lar, but it wud have been greater if they've joined us..
went AJ ice before that. gawd. laughed lik cows thr..
esp evonne.. haha.
reeelek lar evonne.
met beloved geog teacher of ours. kinda missed her.. heeee. her hous like coool lar.
got stairs in the house alredy waaaaat..
after that head home. cant join them to jln kayu for supper.
i wish i can yah.. sory guys!
*psst. nex time it will be under *flashflash* at the linkies...enjoy!*
/ 3:08 PM
(note: apparently tag-board.com has some problems for a FRIGGIN LONG TIME. so, me got a new one. *beams* so start tagging ya'll!)
im spose to update yday, but i had an unbearable pain. cramps and headache. urgh. cramps is already BAD enuf okiee...
oritey, lets tok abt yday.
went out wif zaid to x-square. yah, im a goood person. heex. so yah, went out wif him. being me - i was late. im sori lar, choosing wat shoe to wear. :x den i reach thr already, we, ok wait, I sorta embarrassed myself. shant say it here. lolx! onli zaid n me knows.. jeeez.
okie so, went to lot 1. and its been eons since i went thr lar. wen i stepped into the xbox plc, omg. i feel lik i was in heaven - onlywiththewrongperson.... ANYWAY *heehee*, we played a few games. and i have to admit Halo 2 was pretty cool. yes zaid, you won me 3-0 for car racing. the first to won me 3 times in a row. hat trick la kirekan. well duh, its a new game, a whole new thing. im nt being a sore loser kay, it was pretty nice to try sumtin new. (=
aft tat went to marsiling to look for xbox games. but the store close. zzzzz. and this zaid made me RUN to the bus. haha i used to run to the bus all the time, but u know, ive changed to take things slow ya know.. *alasan alasan* lucky i nv fall sia. so, took the bus to cwp. look for stuff and got it. i bought myself earrings.
oh dear gawd. im so in love wif it. i wudnt have bought if the saleperson didnt ask me to TRY. im such a sucker. haha. den went libby to get a book. wat happen in between, its an embarrassment. so, if ure dying to know, come and make an appointment with me.
aft tat, i went home. yup, we din stop to eat. haha. and zaid is like. azi lapar ar.. WHAT-everrr. cmon, dun pancit so fast. haha. its a rule, eat b4 goin out wif me. :p
--------------------
today, went to my niece's sch - PPIS. its kinda a big deal (to me) coz its her last day thr.. and she is performing. so, being a GOOD aunt, i went thr with my wet and uncomb hair, no hairband,no tissues, no bag, no IC (like it matters ALOT to me) but only with my fone. tats it. and a camera.
reached thr, and i din expect the place to be erm, small. since we're late, all the seats were taken, and they mentioned it doesnt cater for parents. so, they din prepare many seats. *rolls eyes* yah i stood all the way. and at one point, i was about to faint. hahaha. no kididn man. yah, my endurance level is running low man. i was feeling nauseous, wana faint any minute, sudden coldness esp at my face, i feel like the blood rushed down to my lower limb and i cant take ani more pics. my hand was shaking. and im not on steroids mind you... jeez. so aft my niece's performance, went to buy a drink at the canteen.
relieved man.
most of the time, i was taking pics and looking at the kids. they are so adorable and jus beautiful. not to forget brilliant. yes they are, u can tell from the way they speak and how they react to things. one even thought im a teacher thr. 0_0 i KNOW. wat were they tinkin!! heeee. cute creatures. den of course the usuals- run around like mad dogs (esp the boys) one of them even tore their kain samping rabak siol...den endless noise which is okie to me.. wat to do, they are kids. heeeee. haish.
one day i'll make lots of babies. lolx! i cant blive i said that. for now, pursue my studies to get what i want best for my family. ;)
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
/ 9:06 PM
suppose to watch amazing race on axn, but i jus decided to blog. besides, i was interrupted by a whole group of guests, so, have to watch it on channel 5 later on. *prays*
this is confusing. just now my uncle thought i am a pri 6 student. and on monday, my aunt thought i am gettin married. jeez, im confused. hahaha. either way, i dont have much green packets. but come on, we go visitings cause of the money right? but this year for me, has been an emotional one. sigh. shant brood over it.
and speaking of confusing, i mixed up all the 'rank' of my relatives... like, uncle, for my dad side, i have to say it as 'wak'. but when it comes to my mom's side, it will be 'obek' or 'cik' or 'bibik'. granmother - nyayi/nenek. etc etc. i got all confused.. haha. and one of my aunt, looked so young. so, i called her 'cik'. but nope, wrong, suppose to call her nenek ... yah, i know - CONFUSING.
its craziness. i asked my bro-in-law how long he get to know my relatives.. like who is who, which side, how they are related. he said, "still figuring out." haha yah, blive it or not, i too still figuring out. my sis-in-law was lost after the third house on the first day. im not kiddin, nor am i not exaggerating. so, i wish lots of luck to my future sis in law. heeee. oh, when my bro get married, i tink it will be interestin to see my bro suffer. lolx. to get to know his in-laws side... *evil laughter*
aiyooo im still in a mood for raya you know. i feel like wearing baju kurung even though i am at home. but my mom said jus wear something decent. haha and i kiddingly said,"oh, you mean something like my nurse uniform." gawd. she laughed like that's the funniest joke. *rolls eyes*
did i mention that kids love me? no really!! haha okay, i know you guys dont blive me. haha. they just sooo adorable. and very bias too. hoho. like for instance, my nephew dont wan to salam my mom, but will salam me. haha so bias rite? den when i carry him, he wont cry. but will cry when others carry. aiyooo.. im so lovable. haha.
okie. now thr's more kids coming. so, i btr make use of my charm. :p
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
/ 6:39 PM
dedicated to you. that you will be . . . . . .
--------------------- I do not love you . . . by Pablo Neruda
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way
that this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
---------------------
now don't lie, its beautiful right?
/ 4:53 PM
right now, i wish im at Borders. surrounded by all those heavenly books, snuggled in a corner of the shop, fallin into Pablo Neruda's world.....
no, seriously.
i need that. . .
. . . . badly.
/ 9:37 AM
i have to say tat this yr's raya was kinda sad for me.
thr's a similarity for every house i went for the first day... and that is, like, one of the family members is sick. like, seriously sick.
and one of them recently had an accident, and both of his legs are broken. he is at home, wif the wheelchair, legs straight on this wheelchair extension thingy. very sad.
he is my uncle. and he is like this super active guy who plays soccer, go fishing and jogging.
but now, its all gone.
i know i shudnt symphatise but pray for his health. he even refuse to take the money my bro and mom gave. instead he said, " i dont need money, i need your prayers for my safety and esp my family."
wah, i was holding back my tears sooooooo bad. but no, i shall be STRONG!! heeee..
yah, and the few houses are similar to this. its heartbreaking to see all happening at once u know. i cant imagine how much pain they go tru..
but can imagine how it will be like (or even worse) in the hospital later.
okie. enuf of the sad stuff.
my camera decided to DIE on raya. and manage to snap 2 pix.
and that is the family photo. good enuf lar.. hehe.
oh yah! my mom was askin me to put on some make up. like wth man.
so i reluctantly put on some here n thr. bleahz.
i fear tat i'll have pimples, tats y no make up for me. haha..
:p
shykes! speakin of pimples!!!!! i have one in the middle of my 2 eyebrows. like those indians wud put those like black dot thr.. YAH THR! sialah... but its not that bad ar, its not like it will erupt ani moment. well, wif the power of concealer, im able to erase it. hoho. yah, my mom cant even c it. yes yes, make up helps.
yday, went to my uncle house (dad's side), and i know they are old ppl, but its impossible that they dun even know who is who. coz my aunt tot i am my mom's grandchildren. (that is, my sis's daughter) jeeeeez. i was so surprised den all laugh lar. kaoz. haha.
tats not the worse part, she even tot im gettin married. at tat time, i was drinkin tea, and i swear i choke. and alll my family laughed.
i was helpless man. HELPLESSSSSssssss!!!
it was kinda funny lar. omg. haha. and i tot, tats it. enuf for the day people!
haha. and i was also thinkin how ain wud react if she was thr at that moment.
*ponders*
orite, sidetrack abit.... recently ive had weird dreams. i choose not to think abt it, but it keeps on coming. i seriously hope, it wont happen.
for now, i need to refill some kueh bottles.
ciao.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
/ 1:20 PM
today will be the last day of the holy month - Ramadhan. i have to admit it was pretty fast... happie and sad abt it toh. happie coz Syawal is here, and sad coz .. nt so sure why, but it feels not enuf.
for the past few days, ive been helpin around. yes, no time to slack or game. haha usually i will be too lazy to move my fat ass. but, i duno what move me to wrestle wif the cushions, deal wif difficult curtains, settle down the cakes and endless cutting of onions. ceh! like alot ar, haha. i know i have to like, work or help out. coz it will be another month of holiday for meeeeee......! urgh. i have to start somewhere hehe.
i feel that this year raya is goin to be the same typical Moin's family way - spontaneous planning. but also a . . . lazy one too. my mom said, we will onli be goin out at night. does tat sound good or bad? i duno. something different toh. haha. that means, i can game in my baju kurung the WHOLE aftnn!! weeee!!! heeee....
and right now, my house is still in a total MESS. folks our to geylang for last minute shopping. gran in the kitchen doing some ... cooking i tink. bro watchin tv - like tats new. and for once me, here... SLACKING. hoho.
oh how much i miss my sec sch frens. we all shud so go out for raya outing kay? same goes for my other frens from other schs ;)
for now, lemme do a lil sumtin called - CLEAN THE HOUSE. before i end my entry, i'll do the "oh-im-sorri-will-u-forgiv-me" mini speech for my Muslim frens (its weird to type it out in malay, but watever) : A'kum all, bukan selalu aku cakap melayu, tapi since its Hari Raya and i will mesti cakap all this to my ciks or waks or neks or watever, why not giv u guys the same treat ya? Kalau lah, i have been tersinggung u all or salah cakap, ader kesalahan apa pun, azi menyusun sepuluh jari dan minta maaf... Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.
phew! glad tats over, but agn, its a vicious cycle - i'll do it agn. hoho. eh, dun forgot come my house kayyy.. oh yah, i'll have open house thingy. dun wori, i'll let u guys know.
weeeeee!!!
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
/ 9:21 PM
arrrr... another day passed.
and i had a TOTAL BLAST yday lar.
like totallylooorrrrr..
hahaha.
i know one thing for sure, we laughed like mad cows. i know i did lar.
and we took pics. hahaha kinda feel bad coz i volunteer myself to be taken.
haha. and we did attempt to take a few pics by ourselves.
its sooooo cooooool man. no seriously, i din know hanging out wif my MAD frens can be this cool. and with ustaz harun, well, who dun reali look like ustaz haha. but watever, we had fun!!
weeeeee!!!!
oh, we buka out at this pattaya garden restaurant.
aft the solats and wat nots, we head off to walk ard at the bazaar.
not tat many ppl lar, still can stretch our hands and all..
while walkin ard, we did some munching too. heeee
and also get to 'capture' wat ppl are saying lik..
thx tofana, we can take endless pix. heeeeee. thx tosallyfor this successful outing. thx to nisafor.. haha nt mad at me ;)
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
/ 2:02 PM
so, its jus another day for me. groan.
omg. yday nite was crazy.
yes it was the ultimatecraziness.
hahaha i din know it can be such a big fuss lar.. u all make me sound like im 35 yrs old. im still 17 and pls lar, i'll find one okay. hahhaa
and i pity crapper, ure the man. owe u big. haha.
tonite, goin to buke out again. wif my MADrasah peeps. woohoo! hope it'll be great ya'll!!! weeeeeee!!!!
gawd.
omg! rayer in 4 days time! cooool bananas lar.
sheesh. im bored. ok i shall go plant some sunflower seeds.
Monday, November 08, 2004
/ 1:17 PM
as promised :)
------------
first and foremostly, i shall respect u as a human being. coz clearly, i dun tink u are.
already its not enuf uve owed so much to her, uve came back with no feeling of guilt watsoever. see, i told u ure not a human being.
i swear i cant list down how many things that uve done to her and the ppl ard her. and it matters cos uve made my frenship wif my bestes fren ever at the edge of a cliff. thats how manipulative u are asshole. oh yah, not onli uve owed her money, but also loads of apologies. u being in her life for tat period was priceless in case u duno.
newsflash asshole, ure nothing to her. coz she has found someone who is way off btr than u. and if u tink u came back tryin to impress her wif ur glorious achievements or how-much-uve-changed speech, im sori uve wasted ur wasteful time preparing for it.
like seriously man, what do u want from her binatang?
i bet ur life is filled wif nothing but misery and pain right now. well, i hope u are like at the corner of a room, screaming for pain, reflecting wat u SHUD do and wat ure SHUDNT do. but then agn, dun waste ur time. go and do wat u do best - spreading rumours.
like wat ppl say, dun say anitin if u duno anitin. apparently, u dun understand and tat simply means u need an education. oh wait, u do? oh, im sori, go and find a btr institution who will provide u btr education yah? no no, dun do me or her a favor, jus do urself a favor. and prolly ur future girls who wud innocently fall into ur trap.
urgh.
honestly, i dun hate alot of people. and i dun go ard making enemies. but YOU are jus getting on my last nerve. yah, the nerve tat might jus cost u life. and i can literally count how many enemies i have, u shud be honoured coz ure my first, asshole.
some advice that u might wana take from arifah..
GROW UP. MOVE ON.
start a new life if u have to. like literally MOVE or sumtin. change ur name.
jeez.
have i mentioned that ure nothing to her?
oh yes i did. but watever.
jus emphasizing some facts.
------------
/ 11:38 AM
i have alot of stuff to tok abt yday. i din go to jb toh.. but i know i went round singapore teehee
first was geylang coz mom wans to get briyani. *smacks lips* and there was an argument between this 2 makciks. haha. coz the makcik in front already ordered 2 pkts. den wen her golden girls came, she ordered like gazzilion more. oh wait! thrs more troops of golden girls! so the makcik behind me, was like... 'eh, awak ni jgn lah potong jln. yang baru dtg tu berdiri kat blakang mcm kiter semuer ni.' lolx! i knew this is gonna go somewhre nasty. den the makcik like gave her THE MAKCIK LOOK and jeling at her. like woah lady! bulan puaser.. relek ar. leave ur nasty attitude at home. kaoz. den the org jual go and tell the leader of golden girls to wait coz shes taken my order. wah liao ar! she went bezerk lor! saying, 'ala! baru beraper tak boleh buat kan? org dah nak balik!' zzzzzz. like i dun hav to looorr.
heeee
den frm thr went to ikea buy some pillows and pillow covers. most of the time i was wondering somewhr else lookin at stuff. like.. mirrors.. the vases.. carpets.. oh gawd. they are so pretty man. my mom also cannot tahan. she like wan to buy. but being me, i asked her not to coz we have other stuff to buy. so she put back all the 'unnecessary' stuffs. her look on the face - gosh! hahaa priceless. so cute..like im the mother. haha.
nex stop was clementi central. why on earth im thr? go to NUTC. lolx!! yah.. den went to my neightbour's house.. at my blk last time. i duno, wenever i go clementi, it remind me of all the memories i had. i grew up thr... haish. *ponders*
so yah! den went bak to cwp to metro. alamak, i tell u, its crazy thr. so many people. coz its the last day whr metro has 20% less storewide. i also go crazy. haha coz my mom asked me to find my bag and shoe. my eyes sparkle wen i see the glorious shoooess and baaaaags. *drooools* haha.
oh oh! thrs an argument part 2!!! between an indian family (of 3) and a taka-tai-tai lady. wah! i salute the indian lady man! she has a nasty tongue! haha. so here goes, the indian lady accidentally hit her at the shoulder. so like, normal waaat. some more at the state of the place.. so the tai-tai was like, STARE at the lady. woah~ big mistake. indian lady SHOUTED. 'im sory ma'am! we din mean to HIT u!" waaaah, den the tai tai say back, 'since jus now uve been hitting me!' i wanted to laugh coz she sounded like she's been abused. i was so excited at this point coz the indian lady gave sarcastic remarks.. NONSTOP. and i pray for the tai-tai's safety. and i cant imagine the pain she had to go tru. and thr was like at least 5 people b4 the taitai's turn. hahaha. the indian went on sayin like.. "im sure at Harrods SHE wont be makin a scene. STRANGE attitude these ppl hav *pause n go infront of the lady and look at her at the face and go bak* yah, she is DEFINITELY not from singapore......"
etcetc.
yah, i had the time of my life.
and i tink we spent the most at metro. coz i was carrying like HEAVY bags lar. kaoz. and i have to agree wif carson, shopping is good for cardio.
;)
Saturday, November 06, 2004
/ 9:23 PM
i dont know wat has gotten into me. i didnot buy a single thing yday. like seriously, i din even splurge on a pair of earrings!! gawd. yah, yday wen buka-ing wif the ex-evgians. gleeeeeeness. i know i enjoyed myself. but, lets jus say, thr has been some coldness among some people. ok, mayb towards/from one particular person. but that aint gonna stop me from being talkative and loud and noisy and sarcastic. hohoho.
i pity radzi. haha. as much as i dislike (note: dislike NOT hate) him, i know i shudnt b mean and innocently shoot my criticisms to him. u name it, i did it. his hair especially. goodness, if he let kyan see tat, he might need to go on a full yoga session alone in timbuktu.
and its as toh he wana show how light his hair is, he keeps on flinging it ard. i realli tot he's 'crooked' man. teehee.
ok, back to the fact that i did not shop yesterday. i swear the shoes, bags, the oh-so-B E A uuutiful tops and bottoms are screaming my name to purchase them. argh. and it was a HUGE mistake everybody. coz i cant slp. ok i did slept, but nt well.. already im sleeping in the hall's sofa. arrrrrrrr!!!! i jus cant stop thinkin abt the SHOE!!!! the black pointy shoe at trendy zone, far east plaza level one. oh why did i torture myself? and guess wat, i did not pass by the guru-ala-guru shop - ADIDAS. urgh. the pain and agony i had at nite.
but oh well, i did enjoyed myself. i had terrible neck sore. coz *ahem* being arifah, i need to 'look up' wen im tokin to someone who is *ahem* a lil taller than me. eh seriously lor! sakit siol.. hahaha and wenever i wana speak to zaid, i will measure one arm's length. hahaha
i need to compensate on the shopping hours. one thing i know for sure, i need a shopping partner. if u can stand me trying to choose a pair of earings for at least half an hr or so,*winks at ain* ure pretty much thr to become my partner in shopping. but if u tink ure gonna back out by the 10th min, well im sorry, ure eliminated. and ain will still be at the top of my list coz she totally survived goin tru much more than half hr on earrings. right ain darl? teehee.
ooh! and its been ages since i go home late. yday reach hm ard 12.03am - in one piece and still a virgin. crazy rite? 12.30 siol.. coz aft went town, we(ayu,andi,zaid,khai and me)head to al-ameen @ marsiling(i tink)area.. i tink we had more fun thr than far east. duno, prolly, the grp is smaller and ez to kena tease and laugh at each other. heeeheeee.
eh zaid, the cat wont scratch u k? yes, our fren zaid here, got kinda freaked out wen this cutie cat (i name it - pussy! lolx) stare at him for like a looooong time. and pussy made a move on him by grabbing his shirt. nt bad ar, very horny sia. hehe ok i know lame. he freaked out. haha. and made an excuse sayin he's shy.. zaid, pls.. *rolls eyes*
psst. i want to watch 'the incredibles' and i cant wait to see how sex-ay can mr incredible be. hahaha. eh wait, ron stoppable is gonna be mad!! *ponders* hehehe
alamak, tonite ader queer eye!!! *squeals* and tmr goin jb *groan* hopefully will be back before 6pm coz i need to satisfy my weekly dosage of gilmore girls. heeeeee.
(to ain: dun wori, i promise i will diss him the nex entry yah? *hugskisses*)
Friday, November 05, 2004
/ 1:30 PM
gawd, u guys watch sg idol yday?
taufik was so ... goodness. so good.
like, superbly fabulous. power man.
mesmerized wen he sang al green's let's stay together.
i hate myself for not watchin last wk's performance.
but there'll be a repeat. so, mesti watch lah!
*droooools*
hahaha.
and pug jelly's come home soon is haunting my head ...
I think I'm fallin' down. Down down down.... With a bad case of love. Love love love.... I think I'm falling for you. You you you.... I think, I'm falling in love *faints*
Thursday, November 04, 2004
/ 1:03 PM
yayness everybody!
yday was the last day of exam season. ok wait, not realli. coz im doin psycho supp paper. screw tat lar. but watever, im gonna slack weeeeee!
suddenly i duno wat i shud be doin. heeeheee. lemme see, my bro got the '24' (the show i mean)dvds. so im gonna watch tat... and also band of brother marathon. prolly some other dvds i promised to watch. hmmm... oh, i borrowed a bk frm libby. so im gonna read.. and of course, wat i do best - xboxing babeh! weeeeee!!! i tot of crashin to rp haha. and mt my beloved frens and try gamin at the .. i duno, tee told me thrs xbox place. hehe. erm, oh, and also the daily online routine.
my sis wans me to go kl wif her on sunday.. and prolly back by tuesday. its tempting.. but i cant.
haha coz i will be buka-ing wif my 04S9 malay peeps. hope it'll be fun catchin up and all.. and also coz thrs gilmore girls haha. i missed 2 episodes man. den on tuesday, buka-ing wif my madrasah peepz. *squeals* but, the tot of goin geylang, freaks me out. haha.
oh oh! this friday will be buka-ing wif the rocking ex-evg malay peeps!!! ok, mayb not all. but it will be fuuuun! coz ain (my bestest fren ever in the universe), nj (my guru haha ;) ), and hopefully my cls ppl wil be thr too!! goodness cant wait. den shall rock town coz we're eating at far east plaza. and i'll pray tat thrs place for us. kekeke.
and in a few mins time, i hav to head down to evg for training. footdrill training, meaning, free sun tan. haha. miss the red cross ppl too.
i felt as though ive lost touch wif the life i once loved.
like red cross, i duno if im afraid of taking the challenge or im lazy. ive been kinda like MIA-ing. it doesnt feel good. coz i used to be totally involved. and now im sorta, outdated for sum stuff. its partly my fault too, coz i din take the initative to ask. abt my frens (doesnt matter whr ure from) whom ive spoken to like eons ago, i duno if im able to open up and speak to them like i once did. well, its been ages since we spoke, so, i duno.. people change in every aspect.
*sigh*
hopefully i can bring those back.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
/ 1:21 PM
woot! 1026 was a breeeze haha. action pulak..
glad its over.. supposedly tmr is my last paper.. btu i do have EL 'O's to do.. groan. dejavu all over again.. zzzz.
and then i have my psychology paper. bloody toot. cant wait for psycho paper!!
and i cant wait for sch to reopen coz im missing the hottie already...
*drooooooools*
Monday, November 01, 2004
/ 10:21 PM
yesh!
bio paper is like soooo over.
hehe. so relieveddd.
and im nt gonna tok abt the paper.
period.
and omg! the hottie was in front of me jus now [in the mornin] and the place is like so cram.
haaaaaaa!!!
hehehe.
happiness happiness!!
weeeeeee!!!!
so basically, tats the climax of the day.
and on the way home, im like completely happie while other ppl are like.. erm.. not happy coz of the bio paper.
heeeheee.
o well, wateva.
